One of the names of Jesus Christ is “Redeemer”. He redeems us from the fall, from our fallen natures. All the backsliding we do? He is the answer to that. He is the only answer to that.
When I begged him to “change me”, he heard “Redeem me”. That is what I was really begging for.
Why did I beg for this? Because what I really wanted was rest. I wanted the REST that only Jesus Christ gives. I was tired. I was beaten. I had been treading and drowning in water for eighteen years! And probably even longer than that. Do you know that feeling?
Christ said, “If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble, and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have FAITH in ME, then will I make weak things become strong unto them”.
I give unto men weaknesses that they may feel after me. Because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong.
Did you notice the stirring? Those are his words.
You might beat yourself up for your backslidings, but don’t stay there too long. Take them to his feet and beg with all the energy of your soul for the rest he gives. For the redemption away from that burden.
So what happened after my weekend away?
I drove home, I moved through my normal movements of being a mom and a wife. But then I noticed something changing. It was so gradual I didn’t know it was happening. But then by the next morning, it increased in power over me so that I could not mistake it…. It was joy.
I was enveloped in joy—and I call it a bubble. I was in my house, doing my house chores, but I felt like a bubble grew around me and it was made of pure joy. It was like a light of purity and it was warm, big, explosive, and constant. It did not diminish. I almost felt like I was floating. I felt like I had been removed from the fall. I was put to into ‘rest’. The heaviness of life was removed.
My mind cleared up. I did not know I had a fog over my brain until it was gone. I had to sew a dress for my daughter. I set to the task and found that instructions on how to do this came easily. I did not use a pattern. I did not need to. Usually, when I sew, it is filled with frustration and a few choice words! I almost hate sewing, but this time I was instructed in what order to do things.
It felt like I was taken out of the driver’s seat and placed in the passenger’s seat. And, power took the steering wheel. This lasted for two weeks!
My house became clean and orderly. I was doing it, but it was easy.
One afternoon, as I was passing from the stairs into my bedroom I felt that my dad could see me. He had died seven years earlier. I paused, backed up into the hallway, and looked at where I felt it. I didn’t feel that he was in the house with me, but that an opening was allowed and he could see me.
I said, “Dad?”
The only thing on the cabinet top was a picture of him. I walked over and picked it up. I toted his picture with me throughout the day and talked with him, sharing my day. It was so lovely talking with my dad and knowing that he had a chance to see me.
This experience with joy was earth-shattering, life-changing, and the biggest thing I had ever experienced. I did not know what I experienced. This was sixteen years ago. Since then, has anything come of it?
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