Changed

The intro to the first meditative guide (Queen) is not quite right on a point.  It sounds as if, when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the future, THIS is going to be the catalyst for change.  This is not the full picture.  It really is you, imagined, but after Christ has done his work.  Being obedient to the teachings of Jesus Christ is the only way we change.  The more knowledge we have of him–which is obtained through obeying his words, the greater the change.

I add this blog so you know the deeper story.  Christ is the story.

He is impressive.  Once you have his image in your countenance, and his light shining from you, THEN and only then are you still just a vessel that he comes through.  It is never about me or you.  But when he comes, he brings joy, and the soul finds its worth. And really…it IS about me and you.

So…sixteen years have come and gone.  What happened to the girl who wanted to be skinny? Let’s go back to the house as those two weeks come to an end.

Sadly, I felt the bubble of joy dissipate. I felt my old self being put back into the driver’s seat.  I was falling.  The ethereal experience was over.   I was confused by this.  Why was I falling back to earth?  It was a gentle process, but I did not like that it was happening. my human frailties came back, as did the brain fog. 

I worried, what did I do wrong?  

It took me some time before I realized that I was not to stay in that higher sphere.  Maybe I was given a taste so that I knew where my true North was.   And really, if I had studied the scriptures, I would have known what this was.  There is a name for it.  This was a baptism of fire.   I had never felt so much love and joy for such a long period of time!

So let me tell you the awesome part!   I had no desire to sin.  I had no desire to watch or listen to things that were lower.  It had been burned out of me.   I had just tasted heaven, and earth suddenly came into perspective.  This is a beautiful earth, but a rusty tin can compared to what is ahead.

I was changed!  I had begged for this gift and it was granted.  “…we see through a glass, darkly…”(1 Corinthians 13:12)  I still don’t know all the ways this has impacted me.  And the Lord’s thoughts are higher than my thoughts.  I am content.

Jesus did not deliver me over to perfect robotic eating habits that melted the pounds off for good.  My vain ambitions were not granted (darn!).  I remained a human on the earth who is subject to real laws.   

A six-hundred-calorie donut is still just that.  A day of not working out is rewarded with muscles that atrophy.  I remained as normal as they come,  in this regard. 

But I am not normal in my testimony of Jesus Christ.  He lives.  He listens.  And he acts when we come to him with broken hearts and contrite spirits.

It does not matter what religion you are, or even if you are agnostic or atheist.  When you get low enough and suddenly find your mind turning to Jesus Christ–cry out to him.  He answers.  He does not care from what background ye hail.

So…how did my family react?  Was it business as usual?  Absolutely not….